All That Matters
by Prince Char
Summary: It's a (hideously inaccurate) Gluhen fic! Omi can't bear the pain of separation any longer, especially when he discovers Ken's been trying to contact him. But maybe he doesn't have to...


It's a Gluhen fic! No, it is!! I was blatantly inspired for this by my friend Claire who just wrote a Gluhen fic called Snowfall (go read…no WAIT, read mine first…please?) Anyway, I guess this is dedicated to her since she loves Ken and Omi too (waiii), in fact she loves Ken more whilst I love Omi more, so we don't fight over them, it's good… Anyway, also because I'm gonna miss her loads after Summer when I'm in Durham and she's way South in Portsmouth. Cry cry oh the sadness…

So anyway, I make a point of not writing disclaimers. Because come on, we all know I don't own 'em…D'OH!

I also don't write warnings, because we all know too that if you weren't interested in shounen-ai, that is, quite literally, 'boys love', you wouldn't be looking at this…DAMMIT!!

Prejudice sucks, so on a serious note, flame and I'll laugh.

And lastly (there is a fic coming after all this, really…) I haven't seen all of Gluhen, so I apologise for any wrongness! And, um, if you could pretend they still had the flower shop in Gluhen, that would be good... Hmm… Oh just pretend, please ^^

Omi lay in bed, unable to sleep, cold inside despite the hot summer night, and so alone…

He tried not to think about how he and Ken used to share a bed. 

How Ken would wrap his arms around him…

Sometimes they would just talk quietly. Sometimes they would lie in silence, just holding hands. Sometimes Ken would run his hands over his body, kissing him all those places he knew to, teasing until he would have had to be inhuman not to be gasping and moaning and more than willing… 

And every night before they slept Ken would always kiss him gently and whisper "goodnight, I love you…", and he'd say the same.

Ken always seemed to know just what he needed to make him feel like everything was perfect, whatever the situation. And the real charm was, he _didn't_ always know, but being with him made everything fine anyway. 

Omi refused to think about how wonderful he would feel now if Ken could be with him… 

Why did he have to be taken away from that life? 

It wasn't perfect, in fact it was damn well twisted, and he had often found himself wondering whether it was even real. 

But it was _his_ twisted, unbelievable life, his life with Ken, and their friends. 

Someone needed to do what he was doing, someone needed to be in charge and make sure what needed to be done got done… He wouldn't even have minded being the one to do it, he was good at organising and co-ordinating and all that stuff…

But why did it have to mean cutting himself off completely from everything he knew and…and loved? The others had no idea where he was, they didn't even know if he was alive.

He missed his old life. 

And he couldn't go back to it, not ever.

Being away from Aya and Youji was making him miserable, but being away from Ken was draining Omi of something he hadn't even known existed. 

He didn't really want to live anymore, just sleep, dream of Ken kissing him…

"Goodnight, I love you," he whispered to the darkness, like he did every night, always.

***

He went to see them sometimes. 

From a distance of course. 

He would just stand, across the road and around the corner a little from the flower shop and watch them at work - watch Ken at work. 

Aya and Youji didn't work there now, they were teachers, currently posing as at least, but they still lived there and he could see them as they came and went too.

Familiar voices were brought to him, tossed so casually about on the wind, as if they didn't mean everything in world to the young man across the street. 

It was an utterly, utterly stupid thing to do, he knew that. He was torturing himself unnecessarily, refusing to let himself move on… 

It hurt so much to see for himself that Ken's life didn't include him anymore…

And still he would stand there for hours on end, ten metres away feeling ten thousand miles away and watch them, not even realising he cried every time.

***

This particular day, he'd stayed too long.

The shop was shut now, and he never stayed when the shop was shut, but Ken was still there, along with Sena, bringing in the flowers and tidying up, and he couldn't go…

…and it wouldn't hurt to stay…

'No don't close the shutter Ken!' Omi thought desperately as Ken took the last plant inside. 'I want to see you! Just a few more minutes…'

To Omi's surprise, his prayer was answered - Ken didn't even shut the door, but called back into the shop;

"Hey Sena, go get the others will ya?"

"Hai!"

Omi looked on in quiet fascination as Ken stood in the shop entrance, looking tired and kind of sad. 

His hair was longer now, almost shoulder-length. Omi could only fantasise about what it would be like to run his hands through that hair, tangle his hands in it as they

'No, can't think about that.' 

Ken suddenly leaned heavily against the doorframe, putting a hand over his eyes.

Omi couldn't help selfishly and guiltily wondering if he was thinking about him.

Ken loved him…had loved him…maybe loved him still…he knew he must miss him…

He wanted him to be thinking of him, but just the thought of him hurting because he wasn't there brought tears to his eyes…

Ken put his hand into his pocket and pulled out what Omi was pretty sure was an envelope, and stared at it for a long moment.

What was in there? Who had written to Ken?

Or, who was Ken writing to, Omi wondered as he watched the ex-footballer take the letter over to the post box that was only a few metres from the shop.

When he got to there, Ken seemed hesitant about posting it, and Omi wondered once again what was in it. 

It must be something important.

In a strange gesture, Ken kissed his fingers and touched them to the envelope before posting it.

"Hey Ken, are you coming?"

The others had come out of the shop now, and Youji yelled to Ken as Aya glared and Sena locked the shop door.

Of course, Omi thought, July the 4th, they must be going out to celebrate Aya's birthday.

No wonder the redhead was looking so miserable.

"Hai!" Ken called back, turning quickly and hurrying back, not noticing he'd not quite managed to get his letter through the slot. 

'I'll post it for him when they've gone' Omi thought as it fluttered to the ground, wondering where they were going, and remembering Aya's last birthday.

He'd still been with them then…he hadn't know it would be only for a few days more…

They'd taken Aya out to a restaurant and then a club as a surprise, but he was the one that surprised them when he actually had fun…

'Was it really only a year ago?'

It felt like a whole lifetime.

As the small group started off along the road, right opposite his unsly hiding place on the corner of a side road, Omi took a few steps back.

They mustn't see him.

And the temptation to run forward, to run to them and be one of them again…

They wouldn't need him back now though, would they?

Would they even want him?

They had Sena…

The kid was nice, Omi had met him (of course, he hadn't known he was talking to Persia - why would someone hardly older than him be in such a position?) but he reminded him of himself…

He even looked like him…

He had replaced him in Weiss. Had he replaced him in his friends' lives?

Omi hugged himself, feeling cold as Sena said something to Ken, and Ken laughed and put his arm around Sena's shoulders, whispering something back that made him laugh too.

In time, would he replace him in Ken's heart too? 

It shouldn't matter, he told himself sternly. 

Even if he did…

If he did, that would mean he made Ken happy, and that was…that was…

"Nobody could make him happy except me!" he whispered fiercely. "He won't forget me.."

Then he felt guilty, and angry at himself; what did that mean, that he wanted Ken to be lonely for the rest of his life just because he couldn't be the one to be with him?

'He doesn't need someone selfish like me anyway… I deserve this pain…'

These were just the same hopeless feelings and depressing things he thought every time he let his mind concentrate on Ken - which it would all of the time if he allowed it to.

But it was somehow worse today.

Was it because of Sena, and seeing Ken being like that with him?

'He was just being friendly…'

Ken was like that with everybody, Omi reminded himself, even people he hardly knew.

He made them feel like he'd known them for ages, he made everyone feel as if they had a friend, that was one of the great things about him.

You couldn't feel unwanted with Ken around.

And when it was really you he wanted…

Omi remembered finding out Ken felt the same as he did. He'd felt so proud, slightly confused but so happy that the one this amazing, amazing person loved was him.

It had all been so wonderful…

Thinking about it just made him feel worse.

He sighed, resolving himself to move and get that letter for Ken as his friends…his old friends…disappeared around a corner.

He leaned back against the wall of the building who's shadow hid him, closing his eyes. This terrible, aching sadness in him was nothing he hadn't felt before, nothing he hadn't been coping with for nearly a year now…

He _could_ keep living, despite that he might not feel like it sometimes.

He could keep going.

"I'll make sure your letter gets there Ken", he muttered to himself, tucking his hair behind his ears and checking round the corner, just in case they hadn't gone.

As much as he wanted someone to see him, just so they knew he was still alive, just to confirm to _him_ that he was still there, still the same…

But he _wasn't_ the same, he thought to himself as he crossed the road, feeling the warmth of the sun on his skin.

He looked down at himself, in his black slacks and shirt; he'd much rather still be wearing his silly old shorts and ankle socks, the pink t-shirt Ken hated…

He dressed differently now. He didn't have the same name. He even looked a little different.

And he couldn't be cheerful, not any more. 

Not at the moment.

When he was with Ken, he had been able to go through everything with at least a tiny smile for his lover on his lips…

Now he couldn't smile, even when he tried.

'Stop thinking about it, stop thinking about it, stop.'

Trying to clear his mind of the thoughts he couldn't seem to keep in check, he reached the post box and bent down to pick up the letter, lying face down on the pavement.

Straightening up, he turned it over curiously…

And froze.

"Tsu-tsukiyono Omi.." he read falteringly. 

No stamp, no address, just his name.

HIS name.

Ken was writing to him?

For nearly five minutes he stood there, holding the letter like he might break it, just staring at it.

For some reason he didn't feel he should open it…

Was it really for him?

Now he was being stupid, it had his name on it didn't it?

That didn't explain why Ken was writing letters to him, for all Ken knew he could be dead…

But it was still his, and it was precious.

Wholly confused, and still carrying the letter almost reverently, Omi went over to the entrance of the flower shop and stood in the doorway, where his Ken had been only a few minutes ago.

He opened the letter as carefully as he could with his shaking hands, and tucked the envelope carefully into his pocket before unfolding the letter itself. He was desperate to open it, to read whatever it was that was from Ken to him, to HIM…but also…scared?

He was being stupid again, he berated himself. What was it going to say, "Dear Omi, I have completely forgotten about you"?

He turned around and looked into the flower shop, willing away the endless thousands of memories, good and bad, he had of being in there, inside what was still his home.

Realising he had unconsciously unfolded the paper, he felt his heart rate quicken and closed his eyes briefly, taking a deep breath before he began to read Ken's familiar and not particularly neat writing.

__

Dear Omi,

I can't believe I'm doing this again, writing you letters. I've probably written about a hundred now, and I know you've not read a single one. That's hardly surprising since I don't know where you are. Maybe you don't even use this name now.

I wish I knew where you were. I wish you had said goodbye. I wish you'd never gone. I wish I knew you were alright. I know you're not dead, I know you're somewhere, I just know it. I still think about you every day, I hope you know that, wherever you are.

I still love you. I still pray for you to come back, but that's no good, if god was going to listen to me, that would mean he liked me, and then he would never have taken you away. I really am crazy, sending you letters like this, but I better not start hating god too much, at least I'm harmless crazy at the moment. 

You used to say I was crazy for loving you, do you remember? And I said "I would be crazy to not love you". I hope you remember that, the first time we went out on a 'date'. I was so nervous and shy! That's nothing like me, as you know. I thought I must have been blushing all the time, and you said it was alright, I didn't blush, but I knew I did. It was a pretty rubbish date I guess, especially for you since I was being so lame, but it's such a great memory. I even remember the date, like the day-month kind of date. 

There's a test for you, I won't tell you, do you remember the date we first went out?

I know god didn't take you away. But I don't know why you went. Why did you have to go? I suppose I can't complain, I was lucky to have you with me so long anyway. I always knew I wasn't good enough for you, I guess I just didn't deserve for you to stay. But I still love you. I still love you. I love you I love you.

I hope you're happy wherever you are. I hope you think of me a bit. I hope you don't cry like I do when I think of you. That sounded really self pitying and lame. I guess it doesn't matter since you're never going to read this anyway. 

I wouldn't tell anyone else I cry. This letter is getting crazier and crazier, it's really stupid. It's all so stupid. The whole world is stupid. Why did I have to be given something as precious as you and then have it taken away without even a goodbye? I would rather have never - no I would rather have had the time I did have with you. You were like a beautiful little angel. Oh man, I really AM crazy. I'm going to end this letter now, but because I'm so crazy, I'll send you another one soon.

I love you

Ken

Ps I love you

Pps we're going out for Aya's birthday tonight. It would be much better if you were still here to come with us. He would like it better then too.

Omi scrunched up his letter and held it tightly against his chest.

"It was the 23rd of September," he murmured. "It was a Sunday…two years ago in September … the…twenty third…"

He suddenly found he was gasping for breath, and fell to his knees as his head spun with disbelief and emotion and...

"Twenty-third…"

All the pain Ken was in.

All the pain he was in.

"September...

All the pain because he loved Ken, and Ken still loved him.

It was all too…too much…

Omi put the cherished piece of paper on the floor in front of him and started trying to smooth it out.

"It was the twenty-third, of course I remember…"

He didn't realise until he started smudging the ink with his fingers that tears, his tears, were falling onto the letter.

"Twenty-third," he muttered over and over again, more and more tears spilling over his cheeks. "Twenty third! It was the twenty third, Ken, of September, the twenty-third…"

His breath hitched, and his voice cracked, and he found he could form no more words.

The feelings, the memories, the pain were all overwhelming, and he found he could do nothing except cover his face with his hands and sob. 

He could keep going.

He could keep going…

Just…

Not right now.

***

Having exhausted himself crying for what seemed like hours, Omi had realised he couldn't stay there forever.

He'd got to his feet, folded the letter carefully away in his shirt pocket, and made his way back to his flat, still crying but calmer.

He'd got a few stares from the people on the streets - he guessed he must have looked kind of strange, even to people who didn't know he was the head of a network of secret agents and assassins.

People his age more often laughed, enjoying life, than wandered around looking lost and crying…

When he'd reached "home", an expensive flat that had nothing in that meant anything to him except the pictures of Aya, Youji and of course Ken that he treasured, he'd sat down on the floor by the front door without even turning on the lights.

Now he was still sat there in the dark, wondering what he was going to do. 

The longing to see Ken was greater than it had ever been…

He knew he couldn't.

But he wanted to so much…

Now he knew Ken wanted him back too.

He couldn't bear that Ken thought he had wanted to leave, to not even say goodbye.

'What shall I do? What shall I do?'

Why had he even agreed to be Persia anyway? He could have refused, they had said there was no-one else but he knew that wasn't true.

Someone else COULD have done it.

They would have asked one of the others, if he'd said no.

They would have asked Aya, probably.

And he would rather it was him than Aya…

But why did he just agree when he was told he couldn't have any contact with them? Why hadn't he demanded they at least be told where he was?

Why had he ruined his own life?

One of them would have had to do it…

The world was a cruel place.

Ken was wrong, it wasn't stupid, it was cruel.

Eventually Omi decided he would write a letter to him. 

It would make it easier for the other boy to know he was alright…sort of…and that he still loved him.

__

Dear Ken, he wrote later that night.

__

I got your last letter. I don't know what to write, I don't know what I can say but I had to let you know I am alright. There's so much I wish I could tell you, but I can't. I didn't want to go, I had no choice, I couldn't even say goodbye. I didn't want to say goodbye, because I didn't want to go, but I had to. I wish I could explain, but I can't.

I wish I could see you. But I can't.

I know it's probably hard for you to believe I didn't want to go, when I can't explain why I had to, but believe me…

Oh there's so much I could write, but so little that I can! It's so frustrating to know you're in pain and I can't be there with you to ease it. I love you, you have no idea how much I love you, and how much I want to be back with you. You didn't not-deserve me to be there, of course you weren't not-good enough for me, please please don't torture yourself by thinking these things, they're not true. I do the same, thinking I didn't deserve to stay with you. I don't know whether ANY of these things are true, I think the world is just cruel to everyone, whether they deserve it or not.

It was the twenty third of September, it was Sunday, and you're right, you blushed all the time. It was adorable. I couldn't believe you wanted to go out with me. Of course I remember, I remember everything that we did, well, I guess I must have forgotten some stuff but I have so many memories of us, of you. I'll never forget anything, I swear, I'll always remember, and I'll love you forever.

I hope it helps you knowing I am alright, and I'm still thinking of you. Please don't tell the others, they can't know, even you can't know but let's just pretend you can for a minute. Let's just pretend I'll see you soon. I can't wait to see you, I have so much to tell you, I can't wait to feel your arms around me again. Like that. It's so easy to pretend. I wish I could see you, I wish I could tell you everything, I wish I could feel your arms around me.

I have to end this letter now. It's hurting me too. I love you, I love you so so much, I love you, never ever think I don't, or that I ever didn't, I always have and I always will. Believe it or not I'm looking out for you, maybe I could be like a little angel, I'm there although you can't see me. 

I love you

Yours always

Omi

Just as he tucked it into an envelope and carefully wrote Ken's name on the front, his phone rang. 

It would be Rex, his secretary, nobody else ever phoned him.

"Hello Rex."

"Persia-san, that old warehouse we sent Kritiker agents to today…"

"Yes, have they returned?"

"Yes. Positive."

"I assume other agents are already researching?"

"Of course."

"I will be there as soon as I can. Weiss will be briefed tomorrow morning, please call and leave a message for them."

"Leave a message, Persia-san?"

"…yes…i-if they are not there, naturally…"

"Hai."

Omi sighed. 

Positive, that meant that the group of explosives experts who were employed by someone high up in the government to put paid to anyone who threatened to expose their corruption, and, increasingly, anyone who was a realistic threat to their power in any other way, were indeed working from the warehouse they had suspected they used.

The worst thing about this target was, working for the corrupt government members was just an excuse for them. They often caused huge explosions that killed the people they were aiming for but also many many entirely uninvolved innocents - overkill, as you might say.

This meant it was less obvious their targets and therefore their source.

Then the government would be publicly outraged at the "acts of terrorism" and claim to be closer and closer to getting hold of the culprits…which increased their popularity…

Omi would go in, speak with the Kritiker agents concerned, read through probably about a million pages of information produced by the researching agents, and put together a mission plan for Weiss.

He fetched his coat, and as he pulled it on took a last glance at the letter lying on his desk. He would have to wait till after this mission to get it to Ken - he didn't want to distract him from the mission, that would endanger him, and the others.

Sighing again, he switched off the lights and left the flat.

As he pulled the front door shut behind him, he glanced at his watch; half past ten. 

Well, what did unsociable working hours matter to someone with no friends?

Strange hours came with the job.

Stupid job.

***

"Weiss, here is your new mission, to take place tomorrow night. A converted warehouse just outside of Tokyo is being used as the base for a group of explosives experts working for corrupt members of the government. They are responsible for a series of 'terrorist' bombings in the last three months that have killed twelve opponents of the current government and countless innocents."

"Oh! The ones they're calling the Black Death Bombers!" Sena exclaimed. "And the government claim they haven't found them yet…" Omi kept talking regardless, knowing Weiss had no idea it was a two-way link over which he could see them as well as them seeing him.

"Your primary targets are the heads of this group; Tsuyoshi Agare, Nakari Fumisu and Hidansha Miki. All three will be in the 'office' of the old warehouse between 9 and 10 pm tomorrow night - please see the notes Rex has for photos of the targets and plans of the building."

Omi's eyes followed Ken across the screen as he went over to Rex to see the plans. 

"We believe that without their three leaders, the others in the group that may be around are no danger. They are not fighters and should not stand in your way. The guards at the warehouse are hired, they are not a part of the group; therefore do not kill any other than the primary objectives unless it is necessary."

As often, he found himself about to reach out and touch the image of his lover, and he caught himself and continued talking.

"As always it is up to you exactly how you do it; I suggest that you take no chances and that three of you take on three of them so that you are not outnumbered. Once you have completed the mission, search the office for any concrete and explicit evidence of their links to the government. The other should set up for the secondary objective - to destroy the warehouse and all the explosives stored in it."

Omi's finger played with the switch on the microphone that made it distort his voice. It was always so tempting to flick it off, let them hear his real voice, just for a second, so they might know it was him, so Ken might know it was him…

"Give yourselves plenty of time and try to get as many people out of the blast radius of the building as possible."

Maybe he could do it, just once…

"More details of the location, targets and so on are in Rex's notes, if you have any problems or questions please address them to me through her."

He pushed the switch, heart beating as if pressing a button was a major thing to do.

"…good luck," he said, flicking the switch back a millisecond before he spoke.

He wondered if any of them had ever even guessed it could be him.

***

Three days later, Omi stood once again opposite the flower shop, toying nervously with the letter in his hands.

The mission had been a success, the targets and the warehouse destroyed, the majority of the guards saved from the ultimate explosion of the place by a warning over the tannoy system from the office that their bosses had been killed and they had five minutes to get as far away as they could before the whole building blew up. Enough evidence had even been found to get some of the corrupt members of government out of their positions by blackmail (giving it to the police would of course have been useless when the police were 'on the payroll' too).

None of Weiss had been hurt at all and life at the Koneko no sumu ii was back to what was classed there as normal - and Omi was wondering whether to go through with his own little mission or to just go back to his lonely flat.

'No, I'm going to do it' he resolved.

If it would ease Ken's pain even just a little, he would do anything.

Ken had gone into the back, presumably on his lunch break, and with only Sena in the shop there was nobody there to recognise him. 

So if he was going to do it, it better be now…

Touching his fingertips to his lips and then running them along Ken's name on the envelope in the same gesture as he had seen Ken use on his letter to him, he crossed the road.

Standing at the door, all the memories of the place came back to him again and as he went to push the envelope through the letter box he was so preoccupied that he jumped about a foot in the air when Sena opened the door and smiled at him.

"If you've got a letter for us, I can take it!" he said cheerfully.

"Oh, um, thanks." Omi coughed nervously. "Can you give this t-to…to…"

"To Ken Hidaka?" Sena prompted, reading the envelope. "Sure I can, he's…oh he's right here!" he said, looking over his shoulder, and seeing Ken coming in to the shop from the back room, hoping Ken hadn't seen him, Omi uttered a tiny "oh" of shock and sprinted away.

Knowing it would be more sensible to just run home, he went back to his hiding place opposite and leant against the wall, almost in tears and not quite sure why.

He watched as Sena looked around in confusion, then shrugged and called Ken over.

"Hey Ken, there's a letter for you!"

"Who's it from?" he heard Ken's voice.

"Well I don't know do I? Some guy just asked me to give it to you."

"What guy?"

"I don't know, he suddenly just ran off."

Ken appeared in the doorway and took the envelope, studying it curiously as Sena disappeared back inside. Omi hoped he would take it inside to read so he could tear himself away, but Ken opened it right where he was and unfolded the paper..

"Oh my god," he whispered, his eyes going straight down to the bottom of the sheet to see who it was from. 

Suddenly he ran out on to the pavement and looked frantically around, looking more shocked than Omi had ever seen him.

"Omi?" he called out, and tears started running down Omi's cheeks as he fought the instinct to run over to Ken. 

It was so hard…

"Omi?! Are you still here? Omi?!! Omi…"

Giving up, Ken plonked himself down on the pavement and started reading.

Omi recognised all the emotions he had felt when he read Ken's letter on the dark-haired boy's face now.

Hope and pain, despair and love and pain and joy and more pain…

As tears fell from his love's dark eyes, Omi wanted to badly to run over and put his arms around his, to kiss him, to stroke his hair and touch his skin and tell him it would all be alright, he was there, they could be together…

"Omi…"

He heard Ken cry his name.

"Ken," he breathed through his own tears, wishing he could call out for Ken too.

"Omi, you love me, I love you…we should be together," Ken was sobbing. "I love you….Omi…I need you…I need you Omi…"

"Ken," Omi whispered again, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"I need you…"

Omi felt his heart rate quicken.

Everything was suddenly so clear.

He COULD call out for Ken.

He could run over there and touch him and kiss him and be with him again.

He could tell him everything.

He could do anything.

Ken needed him, and he needed Ken, and they loved each other…

That was what mattered.

It didn't matter what he was allowed to do, and what couldn't happen…

Why had he ever thought it did?

Ken was more important to him than anything he was doing now, more important than Kritiker, more important than duty, more important than anything and anyone in the whole world.

He'd known that all along…

Why had he never realised that the truth was he could throw everything else aside, that his love for Ken gave him the power to do anything, to defy anything that said he couldn't?

It was all so clear now…

"Ken!" he found himself screaming. "Ken, KEN!!" 

He ran out on to the pavement, tears still coursing down his cheeks and yet grinning widely as Ken's mouth opened in shock and he scrambled to his feet.

"Omi? Omi! Oh my god, OMI!"

"I love you!" Omi heard Ken shout over the noise of a car passing on the road between them.

"I love you!" he cried back.

The sound of the car engine faded into nothing and they were still on opposite sides of the road, grinning at each other, crying, not quite believing this was happening at all…

'I can do anything' Omi reminded himself, and dashed across the road and into Ken's waiting arms.

"I love you!" he said, burying his face in Ken's neck and sobbing. "I was so stupid, I'm so sorry! I could have come back anytime, it didn't matter what I shouldn't do, or what I can't do, I can do anything for you, and I only just realised you're more important than all of that…"

Falling silent, knowing he was probably making no sense to Ken anyway, he let himself be lost in the unreal bliss of Ken holding him again. There would be time for explanation later.

"Omi," Ken breathed, kissing his cheek, stroking his hair. "I never thought I'd ever see you again…"

"I came to see you all the time," Omi admitted. "Just…watch from a distance…like a stalker…" 

He giggled light-headedly, and felt so absurdly happy that he wondered if it wasn't all a dream.

"Is this really happening?" Ken asked, as if he'd read his mind. "Have you really come back to me? Is it forever? Will you go away again?"

"No!" Omi said fiercely, clutching tightly at the fabric of the other boy's shirt. "It IS forever, I'm not going anywhere where you aren't! I don't care what happens anymore, I won't leave you!" 

He pulled back from their comfortable embrace and smiled at Ken, slightly nervous.

Their lips hadn't been this close to touching for so long…

"I made that mistake already, remember? I..I'm sorry it took me nearly a year to realise what a mistake it was…I thought…I was doing the right thing, even though it hurt…"

"Shh, that doesn't matter now, tell me about it later."

"But…"

"Oh shut up and let me kiss you!" Ken smiled. "Ca-can I?"

"It's me Ken…you don't have to ask..."

"I know…Omi what is it?" 

Omi was staring at the ground, tears still leaking from his eyes, tears of misery again now.

"Is everything changed now? Is it my fault? Do you…do you have to ask to kiss me?"

"No, Omi, everything's not changed, it's not your fault! It is different, but, it's the same, there's still you and me, we're together again, we're still together, we still love each other! That's all that matters remember! If things are different they'll be better, because we know what it's like to be apart…oh Omi, please, please be happy, I…"

Not knowing what else to do, he leaned down and kissed Omi gently.

"It's only natural that it'll be strange at first, we've been apart so long…" He held his smaller lover tighter, still feeling the pain of their having been separated. "But it's not your fault, I don't blame you, please don't either, just concentrate on now, and…it feels so wonderful being with you again, that's all I'm thinking about. That's all I CAN think about, you and me, just us…"

"Just us…will you…kiss me again…?"

Ken smiled at him.

"You don't have to ask," he reminded him, and brushed his lips against Omi's tenderly.

"I don't know what I've done," Omi muttered as they stopped kissing and just held each other again. "I just feel so crazy and tired and I want to forget it all, I want it to just be you and me, I want to forget that we haven't always been together… I'm going to have so much to do now, so much to explain, so many people will be asking me about…about why I let them down…"

"Will you…be in trouble?"

"I can't get in much trouble, I'm Persia after all, who can tell me off?"

"You're Persia?!" Ken said, looking stunned. "You were…you were there…so close…I…talked to you, we had no idea…"

"It was so hard!" Omi told him. "I had to see you, on the videolink, I had to send you into danger, I…"

"You can see us too?"

Omi nodded, remembering how much there was that Ken didn't know.

"I have so much to tell you!" he said. "I…won't be in trouble, I just…I feel liked I'm tied to all these things, and I've made the decision to get away from them, but there's going to be so much to sort out, so many people being annoyed at me…"

"Let's go away."

"What? Where to?"

"To somewhere, let's go, let's go now, let's just leave everything, you and me!"

"Ken, we can't…"

'No, we can,' Omi reminded himself.

"Yes…" he said quietly. "Just us, let's go, I want to be with you, and be back with you…then I'll be able to face anything…when I've been with you…"

"We'll go on my bike!" Ken said excitedly. "It'll just be you and me again, like it's meant to be…I'll go and get some stuff to take…"

He gave Omi another quick kiss and turned to go back into the shop.

Watching him go, Omi suddenly seemed to wake up to what was happening and almost believed, for the first time, that it was all true. Excitement and delight ran through him and he felt like laughing out loud.

"Ken!" he cried joyfully and ran after him, throwing himself at him, noticing but ignoring Sena staring with wide eyes out of the window at them. "Ken, I love you so much! I'm so happy, I'm so happy!"

"Come on!" Ken said, taking his hand and pulling him into the shop. "Come in and see it all again, the room we had, I…I don't sleep in there anymore, since you went… And, you can leave a note for Aya and Youji or…no it doesn't matter, there's time for that, isn't there, you can see them anytime, when we come back…"

"Ok, I…" Omi grinned, feeling dazed as he entered the shop and Ken started rushing around.

"Here!" 

He suddenly found himself presented with a freesia, a gentian and a red rose, tied around with a yellow ribbon. Blushing, he took the small bouquet and smiled shyly as Ken kissed him on the cheek and resumed his rushing around.

"I'll just be a minute!" he said, running into the back. "Oh, Sena, sorry I, this is Omi…"

Omi turned around and smiled at the boy who he'd forgotten was even there.

"Are you…Ken's…b-boyfriend?" Sena asked him, turning slightly pink.

Omi nodded happily.

"Are you…the one who used to be in Weiss?"

"Yep, that's me!"

"Ken talks about you all the time…I didn't know you two were… I didn't know you were even still alive, did you…go somewhere?"

Omi looked at him, expressionless for a moment. Then he remembered what Ken had said to him. His dark haired lover didn't want him to feel guilty. It didn't matter that he had gone, they were together now, and that was all that mattered.

"Yes, I went away," he said slowly. "But I'm back now, and I'm not going anywhere."

"Omi!" They heard Ken's voice from the back. "Come here! I've got all your stuff, you can wear your nasty pink shirt again…"

"Except with Ken," he said dreamily, and shared his joy with the world by giving Sena an impromptu hug before going to find Ken.

***

"You don't sleep here now?"

The room they used to share looked exactly the same as he remembered.

"No. We can move back in here now! I left it like it was…'cause I knew you would come back!"

He grinned happily and threw Omi the pink and white t-shirt he'd been talking about earlier.

"There's your wonderful shirt," he grimaced. "I couldn't believe you left that behind. I mean, you loved that thing more than me!!"

"Yes, I loved it a lot more than you did," Omi said, holding his t-shirt fondly, and Ken threw something else at him before retrieving it and stuffing it into the rucksack he was packing. "I never loved anything more than you! I just thought I probably should…"

"Do you want to go to your…house and pick stuff up before we leave?"

"No, I don't think that's a good idea, if I don't want to get…caught." He chuckled. "Kritiker people are always going round there to ask me stuff…they're not very sly, actually…I was meant to be meeting Rex this afternoon… I don't even care if they DO see me now, they can't stop me doing what I want…but I just want it to be you and me, I want to forget all of that and all of them for a while… I can borrow stuff from here. I mean, I can take it, it's mine!"

He pulled off his shirt with the intention of putting his old pink one on, but didn't have the chance as Ken suddenly pounced on him.

"If you take your clothes off, you know what's going to happen," the taller boy told him warningly, pinning him back on the bed, and they both laughed.

"Actually, I was _trying _to put my clothes ON," Omi said as Ken started kissing his neck and bare shoulders. "Stop it! There's all the time in the world for that! We're supposed to be going remember, before Kritiker send their best, most sly agents after me…"

Ken laughed again and settled for kissing him deeply as he helped him pull on his t-shirt.

"Isn't there anything you want from home?" he asked as Omi dug out his old clothes and changed into jeans and trainers, taking his clothes off despite Ken's warning.

"This is home. There's nothing at…that place I've been…staying. Well, there's my photo of you…" he mused. "But who needs that when I have the real you?"

"I dunno, the people who don't have the real me?"

"You idiot," Omi said lovingly, throwing his arms around Ken. "I…I still can't quite believe this is happening," he said seriously. "I can't believe you still love me after I…after I left you and…"

"Well, it IS happening, and I do still love you, so believe what you like," Ken said, trying to look sulky and ending up smiling adoringly at him.

"What's going to happen, when Kritiker find out I've come back here, and when Aya and Youji see me, and when everyone who I let down realises I walked away from them, back then and just now? Will they hate me?"

"People will understand Omi. You left for a reason, they'll understand that. I don't know what Kritiker will do…I don't know what will happen but…who cares? Let's go, and when we come back, we can face anything together, right?"

Omi grinned and nodded.

"Yeah, anything."

They shared another gentle kiss, and Ken was most irritated when it was interrupted by Omi's phone ringing.

"Just leave it!" he pleaded as Omi moved away, holding onto his hand and trying to kiss him again.

"No, it'll be Rex, I have to get…it is, it's Rex. She must be wondering where I am…after all, Persia has no social life, or friends…nobody…"

He shuddered.

"Ken I was so lonely…"

"I know you were love."

Ken wrapped his arms around Omi's shoulders from behind as he stared at the phone sorrowfully.

"But you have me now, you know you had me all along…"

"Yes…I thought about you all the time…when I felt alone, I pretended you were still with me…I told you I loved you every night…"

Shaking his head, Omi threw the phone down on the bed.

"Let's go," he said, and they walked out of the room hand in hand, leaving Persia's phone ringing.

***

"We're going away for a bit, a few days or something," Ken told a rather dazed looking Sena. 

Having decided NOT to make it a game and try and get through the shop and out without the younger boy noticing them, they'd left a message with him for Aya and Youji.

"They'll understand," Omi told him brightly, glad that he wasn't going to be there to face any possible Aya-wrath even though Ken told him the redhead had mellowed somewhat.

"If they want to contact us, well, tough," Ken added. "And if the shop gets…any customers or anything…you know, those fangirls can't have liked me very much," he added to Omi, slightly side-tracked. "Now Youji, Aya and you don't work here it's much quieter…"

"Oh, I'm sure that's not true, you're so handsome, if I was a fangirl, I'd like you the MOST!" Omi said, grinning devotedly at him.

"Well, if I was one, I'd like you best, I still would even if I wasn't one, which I'm not, and I guess it makes sense since we're…"

"What do I do if there's a customer?!?!" Sena interrupted them, looking very concerned at the whole thing.

"Oh, shut the shop if you like," Ken suggested.

"Don't tell Aya!" Omi advised.

"Great…" Sena said weakly.

"We'll be off then!" Ken said, putting an arm around Omi's shoulders.

"Oh…have….fun…"

"We will!" Ken said, winking.

"Oh yeah? Don't get any ideas, I don't know what kind of fun you're thinking of, smirking like that.." Omi teased, elbowing him gently and watching Sena becoming more and more embarrassed.

"We really are going," he assured the poor boy. "Seeya later!"

Five minutes later they were on the road out of Tokyo, riding away from the city so fast, away from all the pain, the misery and the loneliness, away from everything that had happened in the last year…

Omi leaned his head contentedly against Ken's back, arms around his waist, hands on his chest, holding onto him as tightly as he possibly could.

In a few days they'd have to return, and he'd have to face the consequences of abandoning the life he hated - but he'd abandoned the life he loved once before, which was so much harder, and he'd lived with the consequences of his actions for a year. He'd been strong alone.

And now he had Ken…

In a few days, they'd be speeding back down this road…but that was okay.

OWARI


End file.
